Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, is a powerful therapeutic approach that combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness practices to help individuals manage intense emotions and improve their interpersonal relationships. One of the key components of DBT is the set of skills designed to aid in emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. Among these skills, the "Self-Soothe" technique stands out as an effective method for managing distressing emotions and promoting a sense of calm and well-being. As a psychotherapist and fellow human, this is one of my all-time favorite coping strategies!

What is Self-Soothe Mode?

Self-soothe mode is a distress tolerance skill in DBT that involves using the five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch) to comfort and calm oneself during moments of emotional distress. This technique helps to shift focus away from the distressing situation or thoughts and towards pleasurable or calming stimuli, thereby reducing the intensity of negative emotions.

The Importance of Self-Soothe Mode

When individuals experience intense emotional pain, it can be challenging to think clearly or make rational decisions. Self-soothe mode provides a practical way to manage these moments by engaging in activities that are nurturing and comforting. By using the senses to ground oneself, individuals can create a buffer between their emotions and their reactions, allowing for a more measured and thoughtful response to the situation.

How to Practice Self-Soothe Mode

Here are some examples of how to use each of the five senses to self-soothe:

1. Sight

• Example: Create a visual environment that is soothing to you. This could involve looking at beautiful pictures, watching a calming video, or spending time in a peaceful, aesthetically pleasing place like a park or a garden.

• How it helps: Visual stimuli can have a powerful impact on your mood. Pleasant and calming sights can help distract you from distressing thoughts and promote a sense of tranquility.

2. Sound

• Example: Listen to music that you find calming or uplifting, play nature sounds like ocean waves or birds chirping, or engage in a mindfulness practice like guided meditation.

• How it helps: Sound can have a profound effect on your emotional state. Soothing sounds can help lower stress levels and provide a comforting background that helps you relax.

3. Smell

• Example: Use essential oils, light a scented candle, or enjoy the aroma of fresh flowers or your favorite foods. Experiment with different scents to find what calms you the most.

• How it helps: The sense of smell is closely linked to memory and emotion. Pleasant scents can trigger positive memories and feelings, helping to alleviate stress and discomfort.

4. Taste

• Example: Savor a small piece of your favorite treat, drink a soothing herbal tea, or try a new, flavorful dish that brings you joy.

• How it helps: Taste can be a powerful distractor from emotional pain. Enjoying a favorite food or drink can provide immediate comfort and a sense of pleasure.

5. Touch

• Example: Wrap yourself in a soft blanket, take a warm bath, or gently massage your hands or feet. Petting a cat or dog can also be very soothing.

• How it helps: Physical sensations can ground you in the present moment. Engaging in comforting tactile activities can reduce feelings of anxiety and promote a sense of safety.

Integrating Self-Soothe Mode into Your Routine

Practicing self-soothe mode regularly can help build resilience against emotional distress. Here are some tips for integrating this technique into your daily life:

• Create a Self-Soothe Kit: Gather items that appeal to your senses and keep them in a designated place. This kit can include things like scented candles, soothing music playlists, favorite snacks, soft fabrics, and pictures that bring you joy.

• Schedule Self-Soothe Time: Dedicate a few minutes each day to engage in self-soothing activities. This regular practice can help reinforce the habit and make it easier to access these techniques when you need them most.

• Mindful Awareness: Pay attention to how different stimuli affect your mood and emotions. This mindfulness can help you identify the most effective self-soothing strategies for you.

Self-soothe mode is a versatile and accessible technique that can provide significant relief during times of emotional distress. By engaging the five senses, you can create a personalized approach to calming and comforting yourself, which can lead to improved emotional regulation and overall well-being. Whether you're dealing with everyday stress or more intense emotional challenges, incorporating self-soothing practices into your routine can help you navigate life's ups and downs with greater ease and resilience.

By understanding and utilizing the self-soothe mode, you empower yourself with a practical tool to manage distress and cultivate inner peace, making it an invaluable addition to your emotional wellness toolkit.

Find a sample self-soothe mode here.

-Cammie